evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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