he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize