Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize