You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize