No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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