I puked a lego.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
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I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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