I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
there is glitter all over my balls
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