So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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