She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize