i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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