he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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