Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
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Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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