how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Boobs are out for the taking
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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