we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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