She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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