I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize