people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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