i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
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I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
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I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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