hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
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I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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