Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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