The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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