Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize