I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
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Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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