you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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