Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize