bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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