I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize