you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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