dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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