I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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