we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think I sprained my soul last night
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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