found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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