Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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