I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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