plz talk dirty to me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
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I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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