I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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