I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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