She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize