Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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