I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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