Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize