Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Two words: nipple clamps
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