The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize