I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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