he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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