I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize