awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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