The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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