I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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