He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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